ironman morning....i can't wait.

i'm picturing that morning. the nervous excitement that kept me up at night during the previous week. that same excitement that made me pop out of bed at 4:00 am, knowing it would be a wonderful day. hoping for the least disasters possible. my friends were surrounding me, speaking quietly focusing on their own dreams for the day. we bustled quietly around like silent bees preparing for the journey ahead. forcing food down, but really only thinking of it as calories and energy, since "just food" surely wouldn't make it past the lumps of fear in our throats. we headed out the door, our minds racing through the massive list of things to not forget. reminding ourselves to think positively. today is the day. the day that all the sacrifice was for. that all the sweat and tears were for. the day that all the pain and early mornings were for. today is the day. no one is talking. you just hear the occasional deep breath to calm the nerves. we arrive at the race site. now, you can REALLY feel the bustling of bodies and the nervous tension floating around the air like a thick fog. you remind yourself that today is the day. you suddenly need to separate from your pack of friends to finish preparations. you know will see them again before the race. regardless, this sudden separation leaves you feeling alone and vulnerable. trying to pull yourself together tears are welling in your eyes. fear, excitment, anxiety! you want someone to hold your hand for the whole day. it feels like your brain and your heart are alone burning 500 calories a minute as you anxiously run around finishing last minute preparations. bike set-up here, check tires, water, numbers placed correctly....transition bags are over here, hopefully everything is in there! double check you have your glasses, your helmet, shoes, nutrition, pain killers, salt tabs........ deep breath. today is the day. scrambling around to find friends and family, panic sets in. the tears are back. swallow (gulp!). remembering leaving them last time. this time, good-bye will be for the whole day. you're on your own, to power through the ironman. today is your day. i can't wait!!!