"i left it all on the course"

that's one of my favorite things to hear when i hear a pro (or anyone actually) talk about their racing or their training. it's just such a good visual for me, i guess. to leave everything you had that day on the course. or out on your run, to have nothing left when you are done! wow. to race like that and train like that must be so amazing/painful.

obviously if i'm so amazed by it i must not do it. right? well, ya not really. i'm kinda more known for smiling during racing and training. i actually get made fun of for this. what i usually tell people is number 1: i'm so tough that i can smile through the pain (he he he, and i don't get away with that). number 2: i'm not out there to be miserable so why push to that place? my excuses go on and on. my point is, no matter what, i leave A LOT out there even when it's not everything i have. i actually visualize just my daily baggage falling off each mile or each step. whatever has been bugging me, just trickling off, and a lot of the time i can start a run feeling sad, or bummed, or stressed, or ANY feeling. and finish my run feeling SUPER HAPPY.
i have to give some of the credit to my body's chemistry and those lovely endorphins, but my training is my time for reflection and most of the time seems to make me a better person. it helps me make good decisions and wipes my slate clean.

today, for example, was just a bad day. a gloomy day. those days come around for me. just like everyone else. i felt exhausted, had a headache, started feeling sorry for myself, and then just couldn't get out of it. luckily i hit my bottom, and almost instantly got a phone call that urged me out the door to the track. even driving to the track i was so sad i thought i will probably just walk. luckily becky got me going and we did about 5 miles of INTENSE track work. i was LEAVING it on the track. now again, not everything.....but all my FEELINGS are out there (so don't go to the clovis north track, it's not safe....those were some SAD feelings. fyi). our friends kept commenting how i must, "feel so good tonight" b/c i was running well. i was thinking, if they only knew what was driving this train wreck tonight? :)

although i have yet to leave it ALL (and probably never will) on the course/track/field/arena (?). i'm so glad i have somewhere to leave some of it. :) i will keep practicing the "leave it all out there" concept when i'm racing. sometimes i like to act tough when i race. i will think to myself, "just leave it on the course katy" by the end i'm like "you do this cuz' you love it not to win, it's ok to slow down" :).

k. that's all. oh, and i'm better so don't worry. :)